i am officially resigning as an adult. i have decided to purge my responsibilities and take on the responsibilities of an 8-year old instead.

i want to go to McDonald's and think that it is a four star restaurant.

i want to jump through puddles after a rainstorm and spend hours playing in the snow.

i want to think that boys have cooties and want nothing to do with them.

i want to ride my bike (with training wheels) with the pretty tassles, basket, and horn.

i want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. all you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that would upset or worry you in the future.

i want to think the world is fair, that everyone is honest and good.

i want to believe that anything is possible. i want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be excited by the little things.

i want to live simply again. i don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, homework assignments, phone calls, annoying co-workers, depressing news, relationship problems, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.

i want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, flowers, peace, dreams, the imagination, and making snow angels.

so... here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills, and my tax papers. i am officially resigning from adulthood.

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some knowledge in this world is simply uneccessary. this is a list of things i wish i had never learned.

calculus. unless you're a mathematician or scientist (or something along those lines), there is absolutely no need to know calculus. in the "real world", all you really need to know is basic arithmetic. knowing how to add and subtract when you're out shopping, knowing how to take 15% of a check for tipping, etc. and even then, a calculator can be used in place of actual thinking. all these years of being forced into math classes have been useless. it does more harm than good.
santa claus isnt real. is it just me, or was christmas a whole lot more fun and exciting when there was a thought of having a jolly fat guy in a red suit land on your roof and bring you presents every year? ever since i found out he wansn't real, christmas just hasnt been the same. (this also applies to the tooth fairy, easter bunny, leprachauns, and the boogie monster.)
the reproductive system. sure, it's good to learn about sex and the general concepts of how babies are made, but is it really necessary to go through the gory details of the entire process? spermatids, oocytes, oogoniums, fallopian tubes, interstitial cells.. I DONT GIVE A SHIT! and on the same note,
"the miracle of life" aka giving birth. sophomore year of high school, we were shown a very detailed video in health class of a woman giving birth. what the hell were they thinking?! were they trying to scare the shit out of us by showing us a consequence of unprotected sex? or were they merely trying to educate us in how a new life is brought into the world? i really dont know. what i DO know is that theres no way in hell i'm ever having kids.

there was a whole list of things i was gonna write about, but i've been distracted. i'm hungry. so i'm gonna end it here.

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